By Dick Hills

This advisor to the thrill of married existence indicates tips to stay with a accomplice. the writer has written for Morecambe and clever, Jimmy Tarbuck, Tommy Cooper, Russ Abbot and Jasper Carrott.

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After all, a memorial service is just a funeral without the coffin,’ I added cheerfully. He seemed pacified. I nursed in my bosom the hope that in introducing this macabre subject, our offspring would at least accord us respect for facing up to the unpalatable subject of our own deaths and coming to a decision. Too often it is thrust into the background, and even more often the burden is thrown upon one unfortunate family member to deal with. ’ ‘It couldn’t help it if it saw a figure like yours dear,’ I replied.

Couldn’t a plea be made to distinguish between sexual ignorance and sexual innocence, because damn it all, if you sit a girl down on the front seat of a car and explain all the mechanics, it’s only natural that she’ll want to drive it? HOW TO STAY MARRIED 47 Besides all that, do parents bother to find out exactly what is taught their offspring at these sex lessons? I’ll wager they never ask. Not so the duchess. Our youngest was the first to be taught the rudiments under the new era of enlightenment and she wasn’t going to escape without a grilling.

The only previous clue I was given about the duchess’s aquaphobia (if I may coin a word) was that she feels sea-sick standing on a wet plank, and would cheerfully swim the Channel rather than take the cross-Channel ferry. I began to notice after the kitchen incident that, although she remained fearless when it came to hearing bumps in the night and was the first to leap out of bed armed with a heavy vase; at the first sound of an unaccountable drip of water she turned into a wobbling jelly of fear and panic.

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