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She was absolutely electrified and shouted, ‘Maureen not get married any more. ’ She bashed her head, poked her eye, and gouged her wrist. It was unbearable. I said she said ‘any more’ as if once upon a time she did have thoughts about getting married. ‘Maureen not get married any more. Maureen, pack your suitcase. You’ll not get married any more. Maureen not get married any more. You hear me. ’ I felt a story was unfolding. I asked who said she should pack her suitcase. ‘Pack your suitcase. Stupid girl.

It is like this it is. My dad and my mum had another bad argument last night they did and my dad he did throw the plate of food at my mum he did. And the plate broke on her forehead and she was bleeding and all the food went on the floor it did and my mum she was screaming and my dad he was shouting and I said, I said (she took a deep breath and her face was full of anguish. ”’ The group was silent and there were tears in many members’ eyes. Nobody in the group could speak for several minutes.

The definitions I choose do not highlight the more extreme language such as scooping out, burning and spoiling with urine and faeces, controlling and tearing apart (Klein, 1946, pp. 1–24). However, other terminology will be used. The three concepts to be explored are: the paranoid–schizoid and depressive positions; projective identification; reparation and love following the guilt: moving into the depressive position. The paranoid–schizoid and depressive positions The basic idea behind the ‘positions’ is that the newborn infant has experiences that are good (nurturing, feeding, warmth, love) and bad (neglected, hungry, cold, hated), and these are kept as separate, the good/bad breast.

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